It's life o'clock

PIECES OF ME

Hiiii Reds! It’s been a while. Happy New year. Life has been overwhelming.

I’ve gone through so many phases of growth than I did last year and so far, it’s been all about me being in my head and viewing situations from every possible perspective there is and overthinking every scenario that has happened or could happen.

It’s the perfect time to let go of our trauma, pain, insecurities and those negative thoughts that weigh us down. It’s the best time to admit to ourselves that we are worth much more than we think.

Shattered!

Broken!

Pieces of me, the

only surviving

Piece

Laughter,

Long forgotten

Happiness,

An eternity away,it seemed

A shadow of myself,

I had become

Eyes, swollen from crying

All day long,

All night further

Eyes, sunken from pain

The loss of all, is all she gains

“The last night of tears,

This is” I said

“No more wallowing in this mud

of self doubt, insecurities,

hurt and

sadness” I assured me

Yet every coming of a new dawn

continued the cycle; the shedding of tears,

the ease of pain, the process of forgetting,

foregoing

and letting go.

Tonight, the same line

to myself,

I said

“The last night of

tears, this is”

With hopes of crying my last,

tomorrow

Then,

In a dream, I saw

myself ,

Removing my sorrowful

apparel

Feeling lighter, wondering

where my sorrow went

Till I sighted her or rather

Till I sensed her presence.

My hair, she was braiding

Her fragrance soothing,as she bent

As she perfumed my back

I knew, that, of my dement

I was cured, the shell she did crack

And I emerged, growing and glowing

radiant with joy

The environment resonated with

me,

The petals dancing with life while the

Palm trees whispered

Telling one another of the energy surge,they felt

Pleased,the sky was and yes,I most

certainly did see it.

It was the Sun,

He smiled at me

“Emilia” I heard

I looked back, I was called

Then, I saw her

smiling,

leaving,

paling,

and my mourning apparel fading

“Look at your hands and back,

You have healed “ she said

“But my wings haven’t “ I cried

“They will, in a short while “ she replied

And continued sidling away

“You’re leaving‼” I bawled

To whom do you go? Where do you belong? And where do you flurry to?

My petitions flung at her with the ferocity

of a Lion

“Too many questions,you ask Emilia”

“What is your name,my lady?” I asked

“Forgiveness” she said “I am Forgiveness, I have come

to take away your hurt”

“My hurt?” I asked again

“Yes, your sorrowful apparel,

your pain, your sorrow”

“And my tears, wouldn’t it go with you?” I cut in

“It has watered you, given your petals shine

and your roots life. I have to go.

farspent, my time is”

And she dimmed slowly

fading away with my hurt.

Slowly,

Into a heavy slumber, I drifted

Awaken by a gentle tap,

I open my eyes

There she is,

Forgiveness,I see

With affection,at me

she gazes

My eyes mock me not

“I have come to stay” she says

“Sleep well Emilia”

To my lovely Reds who mailed me after the last published article, I’m as pleased as punch to know that we are a family and I’m a source of motivation to you and the Reds who reached out through my mails to check in on me,I’m grateful .

I love love you ❤️

Much love

Reddish 📌

EMERGING

Hiiii fam❤️ this article was written on impulse. I wanted to summarise the changes I went through this year and boom! we’ve got an article. It went straight from my keyboard to the web implying that it wasn’t edited. This is a personal experience and while I didn’t want to share it here, my intuition told me someone needed this, please do reach out if you’re the one. All the photos in this article are of me. Thank you for making this year count. Cheers to the coming of a better year 🥂

A Letter To You ❤️

Emerging,
Reddish📌 closet,
It’s life o’clock blog,
Bubeherself.home.blog,
http://www.wordpress.com.
31st December,2022

Dear Reds,
365/365 days and a new person I have become.
This year saw me through remarkable changes. I have decided to tag 2022 as my year of METAMORPHOSIS. This year for me was evolving. I learnt alot of lessons and I’d forever remember them in order to successfully sail this life’s journey.

JANUARY
Here,I learnt the lesson of FOCUS. I learnt that the primary trigger for change is focus. I entered the year with my family and surrounded with love. Aunty Titi, Uncle Deoye and aunt Fumbi,I love you ❤️.
I immersed myself completely in my studies and practically abandoned all social activities and social media. I wasn’t even on WhatsApp, Twitter was a no-no,I uninstalled Snapchat and I wasn’t active on my Instagram. I learnt that focus is key and that whatever you feed will grow…. I had a goal in mind and worked towards it. My friends Sly and Lydia helped me alot, they understood my desperation to attain my goals and never pressured me or criticized me for spending my mornings to evenings in a private and personal library with my nose buried in numerous books and study materials. Maryann made it a duty to check in on me daily and even get food while coming because she felt I wasn’t paying attention to myself.

FEBRUARY
Here,i learnt the lesson of SOCIETY. I learnt that interaction with people was essential and that I had begun to find it strange engaging in conversations with others. I was gradually falling into depression,of course no one knew except Sly and Basil(who I eventually called crying ). It was gradually telling on my health and I remember not been able to express myself to anyone as I had lost touch with humans…..my elder brother Eloho called me everyday by 5:30am to talk to me as I switched off my phone every other time of the day. I also learnt the lesson of HABIT. I started waking up exactly at 5am everyday even on weekends and went to bed as early as 9pm to wake up at 2am and sleep by 3:20am after revising what I had been taught during classes and going through my practical manuals. I learnt that having a strict routine helped one to be ahead of the average man because I felt, rather I knew I was ahead of my mates with more time and more achievements at the end of each day. Remember,I was still out of touch with society.

MARCH
Here,I learnt the lesson of HEALTH AND PHYSICAL FITNESS. I learnt that I needed to keep fit in order to have a general outlook of life. I went for basketball practice twice everyday, every morning and evening. I felt healthier than I had in a long time and Nathan was my personal coach. I love basketball 🏀.

APRIL
Here, I learnt the lesson of SPIRITUALITY. I took catechism class and received my first holy communion. It might have been late but I was glad I had waited. Waiting helped me to understand the doctrines of the Catholic church more clearly and link everyday events to Bible passages and think in a more open minded way. I asked a lot of questions during catechism classes and connected many dots which I might write on and publish some other time.

MAY
Here, I learnt the lesson of PATIENCE. I got a job as I was idle during the strike and had begun to feel too lazy. I became a teacher assistant and I realised that every child had their own special needs. I learnt to be patient with every child and that made learning more effective.
I also learnt that staying around children made you feel young and innocent and I loved it.

JUNE
Here, I learnt the lesson of UNDERSTANDING. I learnt that to make impact you had to understand. I discovered that to get people to use their maximum potentials, you had to understand the journey they have been through and the journey they will eventually choose.
I also learnt the lesson of SELF-INVESTMENT. I learnt that no knowledge is a waste and that a new path is always worth trying. I invested my money, time and energy in crochet and honestly, I don’t regret it. It helped me understand the beauty of creation and creativity in a variety of colours which is way different from words penned or typed in black ink on white paper. It helped me to acknowledge that my hands can do beautiful things and reflect the beauty and magic within me.

JULY
Here, I learnt the lesson of EFFORTS. I learnt that whatever actions you took had results but the results are greater if an effort is made. I also learnt the lesson of INNER BEAUTY.I had cut my hair after much deliberation because I had begun to feel insecure about practically everything and I had felt the only good thing about me was my pretty face. I reluctantly cut my hair because I wanted to find other beautiful things about myself that wasn’t my face. Now, I know that there’s a brewing storm of positivity within me and the world isn’t ready yet.

AUGUST
Here,I learnt the lesson of TRUST. I learnt that the reason why people confided in me was because they trusted me. I learnt a dark secret and it took me all the courage not to break down in the presence of my sister Ejiro and spill the milk to her, as I didn’t expect it and it came as a shock and caused me sleepless nights and pain.

SEPTEMBER
Here, I learnt the lesson of TOLERANCE.

OCTOBER
Here, I learnt the lesson of FORGIVENESS. I learnt that the best way to be happy is to forgive. I realised that whatever you don’t let go of causes you pain and spreads like cancer to all aspects of your life.

NOVEMBER
Here,I learnt the lesson of SELF-CARE. I learnt that I had to make an effort towards myself. I had to take care of myself in every aspect. I began to treat myself for every achievements and I realised that it helped me to become better, more motivated and relaxed. I realised I wasn’t stressed and I watched more YouTube videos than I did anything 😂.

DECEMBER
I learnt the most lessons here. I learnt the lesson of SELF-LOVE. I learnt that I had to put me first in every situation. I learnt to fall in love with myself and I’m glad I did. I learnt that I didn’t need to prove that I’m a good person all the time. I learnt to know and respect my stand in people’s lives. I began setting boundaries and I’m glad to live by them. I learnt the lesson of NOT INCONVENIENCING MYSELF AND BEEN IN DISCOMFORT TO MAKE SOMEONE AT EASE. I learnt to be INTENTIONAL with my time, energy and resources. I learnt the lesson of SAYING NO. I learnt that my say and opinions are worthy of respect and I refuse to be seen as a second choice.
Above all, I had to put what I had learnt about PRIORITY many years ago into practice and I know I’d be glad I made this choice even in decades to come.

To my penmily, I love you ❤️
Thank you Ejiro,Sly and Lydia, you helped me evolve and emerge into a confident butterfly.
To my family, the thought that you forever had my back was my main drive. I love you all soooooo much.

Yours sincerely,
Munu Chidiebube Eguonoghene

Sooo,I wish to express my gratitude to every special you who dedicates at least a minute to read, absorb and reflect my writings and most especially for your reviews. Your reviews do the most to me in a positive light. Thank you for being a part of my Penmily and a stakeholder in my Wordganisation. The year ends today but our bond is for life🤞.

To you my dear Reds, reading from the different continents and various countries, thank you for not allowing distance to be a barrier to our special connection. I’ve gotten a lot of messages and i hold your feedback in high esteem. If you feel the need to suggest a theme or reach out to me, please send a mail to reddishwrites@gmail.com. Once again, cheers to 2023🥂

From me to you❣️

Much love Reddish 📌

HOOKED

Hey fammm 😍, it’s been quite some time and I’m sure you missed me. Not to worry, Reddish here missed you as much as you did her. It’s Christmas Eve today. Peace and joy to you and yours this Christmas season.

This article was birthed from my tears. I really hope this gets added to your favourites list as it was conceived in a state of pain.

It’s half past fighting your addictions and getting control of yourself. This is the best time to let go of those things, places and people who drain you mentally, financially, psychologically, emotionally and even of physical strength.

This feels confusing
Not actually though
Or the right word is draining
Though “draining” here is more like a situation
Actually it is my situation

How do I fight those urges?
How can I fight myself?
I doubt self-control exists
Because this shouldn’t be

Disrupting my sensibilities
Causing doubts of my normalcy
Ruining even to the last atom of self-discipline
My self will, violently ripping apart

Every next day I call a new start
Every next hour a new beginning
With every new year comes a new resolution
All of which I recklessly abandon
At his very sight

Some say I’m hooked
Others call him an obsession
A figure said I’m devoted to him

I had thought him a hobby
Then I realised he had become my friend
Gradually, he became a confidant
Then he betrayed me
Or rather I betrayed me
And then I was enslaved
He became my master
And with this came suffering and
exploitation to a great measure

Now I know
That with him, I have no
Say,
No sensibilities,
No pride

This rainbow of fallen virtues
Visible to the whole world
With an unknown climax and an unpredictable outcome
However, the beginning is no new news.
It began with cravings
And progressed with increased appetites
Then surpassed normalcy with insatiable hankering

A fallen entity I am
When he’s the one in question
A broken will I have
When he’s in the equation

He calls me
And
I answer
He doesn’t acknowledge me
Yet, I reply

In this round-a-bout of desires
I am the loser
And
In this battle of strength
For me, there is no victory

When I fight this enslavement
I fight me
I fight my will
I fight my desires
I fight him
I fight my love for peanuts
I fight PEANUTS

This situation overtly applies to me. I had spent an extravagant sum of money on peanuts that week yet I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted to keep eating peanuts.
One thing with peanuts is you can’t stop at one.
Soooooo…this piece of art was written because I had to. I mean, my feelings at the time just had to be construed and the only way to vent was through writing.
I was at a war with myself.
I wanted to eat peanuts but I refused to…and guess what!..I ended up crying that day. My mind and body needed to eat some peanuts to be calm again. It was a terrible experience.

And then I knew how drug addicts and alcohol addicts felt on a regular basis. That instant I realised…
I was *HOOKED*

Cheers🥂 to your best Christmas yet!

I love love you ❤️

Much love
Reddish 📌

The Yester day and the latter day

Hiiii fam! Another priceless gift for you and a quite figurative title at that😏.

It’s the perfect time to let go of our past and work towards the future we think we deserve. Who says we can’t be the architects of our destiny?

“Please stop chasing me
Stop pursuing me
I beg of you, do not hunt me
Once again,let go of me
I’m tired of hiding”, I plead

My past has refused to let me go
She drags me by the neck
She pulls and pushes me
Monica wouldn’t stop hurting me
No, she wouldn’t pity me

I’m ashamed of her
I’m not so proud of her
Monica is the part of me, I’m more than willing to hide
She’s the one phase I want to forget
She reminds me of how stupid I can be
She confronts me on a regular basis
Ahhh! she refuses to forgive me
She wants me to pay for my mistakes
Mistakes made when I was naive

Can I rewrite my past?,I doubt
Can I retrace my steps? No
Can I do life again? It’s not possible
Ah! Truly opportunity comes only once

But something can be done
I can still write my tomorrow
If opportunity doesn’t knock, I’ll build a door
And take the right step
They say the ball is in my court
And that my future is in my hands
What can I do than to take hold of my life?
Yes, so Monica can lose her hold on me
Then I’ll welcome a new companion
And I’ll call her Sonia
She’ll be my guardian
And my chosen path will be determined by how I want her to be

She’d be my friend and lover
And she’d be my greatest critic and fan
I’d be proud of her like a baby with a coin
And to let go of her, I’d refuse
When the time comes, I’d marry her
After she has made me or rather after I’ve made her well.
Then I’d say you can only make your bed and use it

Because my future would be beautiful
As beautiful as mama nature
and yes, yours too

*NB*: Monica hasn’t done me any wrong, it just happened that I used her name😂 . My using both names involve no kind or hard feelings whatsoever.

I love love you ❤️

Much love
Reddish 📌

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

Heyyyy fam😍, it’s certainly being a while and once again, I apologize for being irregular in my publications. I have no excuses whatsoever and once again I apologize. However,I want to let you know that I missed you as much as you missed me. I’m still Reddish 📌 and I hope to continue being her.

It’s past time to let out your hidden feelings,doubts and fears and to let every pain go. It’s the exact time to rebrand yourself and know your value and your worth. It’s the right time to know that you are priceless not because you have no value but because you can’t be afforded .

I had everything
She had every him
I was tall and slender
She was a little bit thicker
I was pretty, witty and sharp
She was pretty, simple and shy
I had the wit and vibes
She had the teeth and smiles

Maybe I wasn’t enough
Maybe she was all he asked for……LOL, I wanted to settle for less
And as pathetic as I was then, I was willing to bear the stress
Knowing that the less I picked was the least
I let pity cloud my judgement and chose last over best
Funny how I chose stress over rest😂
And how I acknowledged moving in a descending order

It really had me thinking, “what if I was less and to me, nobody would ever tell?”
“Could it be I overestimated my value to everyone?”
I had thought I could get anything I wanted and win any prize I wanted.
Well, Fate not he proved me wrong and help me get set on the run

Now I know that I was more than he could ever ask
And me, he could never afford
Self doubt I pushed, not gently
Anxiety I fought,like a soldier with the options kill or be killed
And Jealousy,I uprooted before it’s germination
No, I won’t say that. Maybe I got jealous at first but then self respect came knocking .

So as Dada would say “you’re royalty and that leaves you untouchable” . Or as Mother would say “you’re priceless and no one can afford you”.
As Eloho always says “everything happens at its own pace”.
Or as Ejiro wouldn’t stop saying “the best fight is with yourself, yes,the fight to find yourself” .
As Ese would say “ being second is being first to lose”
or as I would tell my loved ones “there’s no competition in destiny, run your race and wish others well”.
However,I’d continue to hold Nelson’s words close to my heart. He would always say “ DELAY ISN’T DENIAL” and I’ve come to realize that truly destiny may be delayed or changed but it would never be denied.

I don’t really know why I wrote this but I know I just had to. Initially, I titled it as Jealous but later on which is now..😂😂 I gave it another title “RANDOM RAMBLINGS” because it is the most suitable situation surrounding this unique piece of art, at least I got to give myself some credit ( hahaha…..hahaha sometimes you’ve got to flatter yourself you know especially when your flattery is the truth😂😂😂) and you should do the same too. Well, let’s be sincere here, this is a not so true experience but it happened and yes it didn’t happen (now I think I’m rambling and it’s not making sense anymore). So, I wish to express my gratitude to every special you who dedicates at least a minute to read, absorb and reflect my writings and most especially for your reviews. Your reviews do the most to me in a positive light. Thank you for being a part of my wordganization and a stakeholder in my penmily.

I love love you❤️

Much love Reddish 📌

Stings and scars

Hey fam❤️ It’s been quite a long time since I last published. Pardon me yet again,I plead. Reddish here has been having quite a hard time writing. You know the stuff when you’re in a twist yet you are the twist. Ebube is doing fine but Reddish is overwhelmed with a lot of things and emotional entanglement may or may not be one of them. Actually I wrote this article August 2021 and I know it’s almost 7 months since I wrote this. That’s why I say Please pardon me yet again. You are very welcome to go through my mind, I love you in there 😏😉❤️

I didn’t know it was like this
I was ignorant of all this
I didn’t think my hope would be broken
I thought I was too young for heartbreak
I thought I would be immune to this pain
I felt my umbrella could protect me from this rain
Now I know, that I ran before I sat
And wrote before I spelled
Sadly,I drew and painted without paper

My heart, my chest, my head
Is all I can say
My eyes are weak and weary of crying
Every heartbeat causes me pain and
Every breath reminds me of a love long lost

They said love is a double-edged sword
That Love has two sides like a coin
That Love is two faced
I felt it was all a fallacy
I loved too early and was crushed that evening
I awakened a forbidden passion and it ruined me
It left me shattered and broken
This sting, I can’t comprehend
This ache , I can’t explain
Thinking this love would last,I gave my best to the last
He said,”Prisca, wake up. You dream too much and read too little”
I most definitely think I misread his actions and reactions,
I saw love when he showed lust,
I didn’t see the blinking light of terror
nor did I hear the very bell for breakfast

Memories upon memories
Changes upon changes
But Scars still remain
Love a little less and trouble’s cooking
Love a little more and all is shattered
“Will I say don’t love?” No, I wouldn’t
Because you should but instead I’d advice
“Love rightly and yes, love wrongly
Because what’s meant to last should start right and
Love makes all things right”
My scars are testimonies
Testimonies of the stings I survived
And a warning of the stings I should avoid

I love love you ❤️

Much love
Reddish 📌

An Easy Struggle

Good day Bests! A very merry Christmas to you all.

Wishing everyone of you a happy and healthy Christmas and a jolly New Year . Be safe and Please Don’t Drink and Drive📌
Every one of you is precious to me! I am so blessed to have you in my life and I love each one of you!
Once again, I am wishing you a beautiful Christmas & a Happy New Year!
May the New Year find your home filled with joy, your heart filled with love, and your life filled with laughter.

This poem is my Christmas gift to you. This poem is dedicated to my Mother, the strongest woman I have being privileged to come in contact with. I cannot express enough, my love and appreciation for her presence in my life. It definitely hasn’t been an easy struggle but she says it is of a great worth to her. This beautiful, intelligent, determined, diligent and virtuous woman is the harmony of my existence. I am more than grateful to live moments with you and make memories with and of you. You are so hardworking and a born leader and you haven’t even reached your peak. There’s every truth in saying that the world will feel your impact directly and indirectly,through your children, biological and non-biological children. I am proud of you THANK YOU SUPER WOMAN

Fighting, gasping and crying
Stretching, spreading and pushing
In pain yet tears of joy rain
The strain of muscles like a lion’s mane

A look at me and again in love she fell
A ferocious love,the type that protects
Not as delicate as before I saw the world’s danger but as thrilling as it was 6 months before.

She calls it an easy struggle
She says it paved way for something bigger, someone greater
She is proud to have gone through such pain
And of the result she couldn’t be happier
In this pain she found fulfillment
This fulfillment overpowered her as I drew out the colostrum, sucking like my life depended on it.
Actually I still think in a way it did
But not more than my life depended on her love and God’s mercy.

She is beautiful
She is love itself
She is an embodiment of selflessness
An epitome of generosity
She wears her crown like it weighs not
She stands as tall as a sycamore tree
She endorses grace

She makes sacrifices
For her children
She is acknowledged
From all, respect she earned
She is revered by all
She is a testimony of the grace of God

I love her and I can’t
Appreciate her enough

She is MY MOTHER

I love love you ❤️

Much love,
Reddish 📌

Facing my Fears

Hi fam
I’m sorry for not updating earlier. It’s almost two months since I last published and I sincerely apologize for not being regular. I’ll try to post at short intervals

It’s fight o’clock. What better time is there to fight your inner fears and mental limits?

Sucking me in
Pulling me down
Bending me against my will
MY FEARS

My fears know me more than anybody
She sees me for me but not just me
She sees a lesser me
She knows I can do it but she doesn’t want that
She beckons and I acknowledge her
She asks me to doubt myself and I promptly obey

She sees the worst in me and I believe her
Ohhhh, she’s the only one who consoles me
She makes me believe I can’t cross any hurdles and
Yet,she says my challenges are as a result of my nonchalance
What do I do with Samantha?
Yes, I call her Samantha
We make jokes about me
Still all she does is choke me

I have come to realize I should be angry at Samantha
I have decided to face her
I have decided to face my fears
But still I have acquired a greater fear

The fear of my fears getting the better of me
The fear of my fears overcoming me
The fear of not being able to break up with Samantha
The fear of breaking up with her and yet running back to her
The fear that makes me angry when I fall
The fear that makes me believe I can stand up again
The fear that pulls me up to my feet after a fall
The fear that pushes me to be better
The fear that motivates me to strive harder

The fear of losing this FEAR

I love love you ❤️

Much love
Reddish 📌

Introductions all the way…..

Good day guys, I’m officially starting my blog today and I’m here to bring to your fingertips what time of life it is.

So, let’s introduce me. I am Munu Chidiebube Eguonoghene. I’m African and I live in Africa.

I am tall and slim with a brown skin . I am _______ years,well we would find out as time goes by… 😅😂. I write poems and articles (a lot of which you would be reading) and I love making carefree, playful and happy videos. I can talk about virtually every topic so feel free to bring your suggestions of topics or themes. I am a foodie (I LOVE FOOD) and I like discovering new recipes (I honestly don’t mind anyone sharing theirs with me). Simply, I’m fun loving.

I’m happy to have started this journey with you and I really want you to know that you are special

PS: I’m open to comments and suggestions

Much love❤️ Reddish📌